Adry and Daddy

**Notice the thick upper lips, the thin little turtle lips, and the clef chins. I think they are gunna end up looking just alike!

Hubbies, Babies, and Hope

OK, so I totally feel bad now for writing a whole rant against my husband.
Crystal, I agree- we are both stressed. We are both a little anxious for what's JUST around the corner. The unknown is always a little scary and I suppose that it's not just ME that needs more patience and understanding. Ben needs it, too. When I think about things from his perspective I realize he probably feels a huge weight of responsibility that is maybe starting to freak him out- now he has a wife AND a baby to support AND take care of, and of course he has dreams of his own to go to school and start a career- when will there ever be time for that, now? I suppose it's totally understandable that the stress is making him (AND I) a little irritable. Or maybe a lot irritable :)

The truth is I have a great husband and I have no doubt in my mind he will come through for me. He always has and I have absolutely no reason to doubt him. He can turn from Mr. MegaGrumpykins to Super Comforter-Husband in a matter of seconds when he sees I really need him. ...like the day he complained on and on about having to take me to an early doc. appointment, but then when I had to get my blood drawn and I was panicking he kept things light-hearted and held my hand and was so sweet. ...or like just the other night when I was totally emotional, balling my eyes out, convinced that he hated me and he dropped everything he was doing, told me he loved me, and just held me tight against him and let me cry.

Of course today, during "Blizzard of 2008" we've been stuck inside for hours on end with each other which, although we are now completely bored and restless, is probably a good thing. He's been great to me today- making my meals and getting me everything I need so I don't have to move that much (hehe). And I didn't even talk to him about anything! :-D O, and I am EVEN thankful for the Xbox today, haha! It's been entertaining him for hours and is probably the one thing keeping his brain from turning to complete mush like mine is! (OK, no, I was wrong. His brain is mush. He just put his shirt over his head and made a very random whiny sound and then went right back to playing his game... :-))

Well, I love him. To death. Forever. And we are both so excited to meet our son. (ANY TIME, now, ADRY! Except maybe wait until the roads clear up...)

O, and those of you who AREN'T 9 months pregnant- go out and throw yourself in the snow for me! And go sledding! I want to SO bad!

Mawiage... and coping with a third addition

I am so sick of things right now.
Fatty McFatbaby has really taken a toll on my body.
Some days I can't tell if I am really sick or just really pregnant.
It sucks when I think about going through labor when I am already this miserable...
Oh, Lord.

My husband is being really unsympathetic and not at all understanding. I am pretty sick and tired of saying, "Benny, I really don't feel well" only to hear, "well, neither do I!" in response. OK, all I wanted was a little hug and a little encouragement but now I just feel like my misery is only another burden added to my husband's misery.
And why the hell is HE so miserable anyway?? I REALLY need him right now and I feel like he is being just as needy as I am. It makes me even more nervous for labor and delivery. I'm going to be looking to him for comfort and I have nightmares of him saying, "tough it out, cry-baby. I have a headache and this is grossing me out."
I don't know... I really don't know what Ben's problem is right now and I don't have the energy to try to figure it out. I try to talk to him but his fuse is so short he ends up fighting with me. I've gotten to the point where I just shut down and distance myself from him even though it's the last thing I want and I pray pray pray he'll come after me. How can I make him understand? How can I make him understand that I need him to be a little more kind, a little more patient, a little more helpful? How can I make him understand that I know he's stressed out but DUH- so am I- and I just need to be assured that I have his full support and that he will come through for me when I need him now AND after this baby is born. How can I make him understand that even though I love this baby and I am SO excited, I am not exactly sitting on cloud nine in baby heaven loving every minute of it. UGH I NEED HIM SO BAD, but he really needs me, too, and I have no idea how to be there for him. Apparently, right before baby comes into the world-( a baby who is instinctively selfish and demands the attention of everyone around him)- when mommy and daddy are supposed to drop their worlds to make sure he has everything he needs, Ben and I are both feeling under appreciated by each other, and we both want the other's attention. Hm.
I don't know how to fix that because I am completely drained. I feel helpless. I don't have the energy to be the one to step up and put us on the right track again. I wish that, just this once, Ben would be the one to do it.
I think I would feel the whole world lifted from my shoulders if he would at least be willing to spend some time with me and nicely talk to me about it (for longer than 3 minutes and without the interruptions of video games, movies, or freakin text messaging :-/ And BTW I am beginning to really resent XBox 360 and unlimited text messaging since these things seem to be far more interesting than I am these days).

Anyways, I love him so much. That's why I need him so much. I could have the support of the whole world and still feel alone if I don't have Ben.

Christmas/New Year's Eve Picture Post

This picture is of me and some of my mom's friends at her Christmas cookie exchange.  My mom's friends in this pic are: Irene, Les, Sandie, Pam

Christmas
Christmas was great.  I had a wonderful day with my family, and with Ben's family.

This was my parents' family room on Christmas morning.


Wahlah- Ben and I got a changing table from my parents for Christmas!  Ben's parents got us the matching crib.  I like the set a lot- I think it is very nice.


The traditional stairs picture- Matt, Ben, Reese Pete, Jacob, me.  I look terrible... oh well.  Every year on Christmas morning there must be a picture taken on the stairs as we wait to be welcomed into the family room with all of the presents.




Jacob got a sweet new guitar for Christmas.  I'm a huge fan- I think it's a pretty one.  I got him a fantastic strap to go with it, I might add.

Well, those are all of the Christmas pictures I have.  Later that afternoon Jamie and Stephan came over and we had a yummy lunch and ended the evening playing Pictionary, which was super fun.  OH MAN- Jamie has some funny pics of that on her camera that I wish I could share, but alas I don't have them :-(.

New Year's Eve:
Happy 25 Anniversary Mom and Dad!
Happy 3 Anniversary Jess and Ben!
Let me start off by explaining that on New Year's Eve I had the flu.  It was terrible and I felt like Death.  No- I literally felt like whatever I touched would die and decay before my eyes.  I had been puking all day and it took ALL of my willpower to get out of bed.  Sooo, PLEASE excuse the fact that I look absolutely terrible in these pictures!

Anyway, we started the night off by going to see the movie The Great Debaters, which I thought was really good, actually.  It surprised me.  I cried.  Pregnancy hormones are solely to blame for that.  Afterwards we went to the Japanese Steak House and we brought in the New Year there.


Excuse me, sir, our food is on fire.


Mom and Les= cute best friends


Dad and Ben got to play the drums...


...Jacob played the tamborein and Tay was a "monkey boy" (as the little Japanese man called him) along with Matt...


...and this little guy sang.  That was an interesting experience, lol.




Mrs. Sicko and Ben on their anniversary!


Ben, Jessi, Matt








Yep. They been married fer twennyfav years.








Do you see the little Japanese man in the middle of this picture?  At midnight he started dancing all around the restaurant like a monkey.  I was lucky enough to be the recipient of a very large monkey kiss on the cheek.

Well, those are all of the pictures I have for now!
Enjoy!
:-)

LoveJess

Ben Ten

"Ben Ten" is a nickname someone gave to Ben, but I'm not sure who.

Anyway, Ben and I are officially in our FOURTH year of marriage.  It’s amazing.  I love him more dearly every day.  In light of our recently celebrated third anniversary I decided to make a list of the top 10 things I love about Benny.

 

Ben Top Ten

 

10) I love his eyes.  He has these wonderful almond eyes that are the prettiest shade of green.  Maybe Adry will be so lucky J.

 9) I love how he can be so goofy.  True, his sense of humor is so cliché BOY but I love it anyway.  I don’t think I could ever put up with someone too serious for too long. 
 

 

8) Benjamin is totally into music, and I 100% appreciate that.  His style of music is TOTALLY not mine, but I don’t care- I just love that he is musical.  He plays the guitar, writes lyrics, and enjoys singing (AKA screaming) to metal music.  Over the years he has written songs/poems about me, and what girl doesn’t like that?  I grew up in a family who was completely all about music- my dad plays just about every instrument he can get his hands on (he owns and plays piano, guitar, harmonica, drums, several other percussion instruments including congas and timbales, and he’s not too shabby at bass), my brother Matt plays drums and guitar, and my other brother plays bass and guitar.  In other words, I’ve grown to love music and people who play music, and Ben fits right in with my family.  

 

7) Benjamin is fiercely loyal.  I think this is a trait that he gets from his family.  I’ve noticed that when they decide to support something, they stick by it.  I mean, they REALLY stick by it.  For example, when Ben started working for Verizon Wireless, that company all of the sudden walked on water- according to him they are by far the biggest and best cell phone company and no others can even compare.  He is loyal to his car mechanic, certain politicians, Fifth Third bank, and even Target who laid him off after he worked for them for 6 years.  Even though I don’t understand it sometimes, I LOVE it.  Why?  Because he is also fiercely loyal to ME and the things that are important to me including my family, my schooling, my dreams, etc.  I’ve noticed over the years that if someone hurts Ben he can get very angry, but he also forgives and forgets quite easily.  The rules all change, however, if someone hurts me or one of my family members.  If you hurt me or someone I love, you are pretty much on Ben’s bad side for a lifetime.

 

6) I love that Benny likes to learn.  He likes to read and think about new things.  He likes to be knowledgeable.  This is almost a secret pleasure for him.  He doesn’t usually delve too deep into debating or sharing his opinions when he is around other people, but I assure you- he DOES have an opinion and he DOES research/read up on a lot of things that interest him. 

 

5) One of my most fond memories is of our wedding day and how giddy and incredibly happy Ben was.  My dad told me that Ben was like a kid in a candy store.  When dad walked me down the aisle and Ben and I saw each other for the first time that day, he had the HUGEST smile on his face.  Remembering that lights me up like nothing else- I love that I have a husband who was simply that happy about marrying me and taking me home to be his wife forever.  

 

4) Benjamin spoils me.  Really spoils me.  Did you know that I have NEVER pumped gas?  Never in my life have I pumped gas.  Since I started driving, Ben has made sure my car always has had plenty of gas so that I’ve never had to stop.  Also, on the days he is off work he drives me everywhere I need to go.  He knows I hate driving, so it’s just something he does for me.  He even drives me to interviews and waits around until I am done.  When I was in school he would spend hours waiting around for me while I was in class just so that we could spend my breaks together.  On the days he was off work he went to nearly every dull and boring chapel service with me just to keep my company, even if I just sat there and did homework the whole time.  When I had to do homework at the computer lab, he would drive me and sit in the lab with me for hours upon hours at a time just so that I wasn’t alone.  It’s REALLY easy to take these things for granted when you get so used to them.  I hope I am forever thankful instead of expectant.

 

3) I just love everything that makes Ben Ben.  Sooo many things will FOREVER remind me of him: popcorn, Clint Eastwood, horror movies (specifically any Rob Zombie movie), his only pair of girl pants he wears every day, the Browns, Zao (and a lot of other metal music), English Bulldogs, skateboarding, stale peeps, his ratty t-shirt “visor”, and the list could go on and on.  A sappy but true story- even though my life IS Ben and I see him every single day, I still go through times when, if I see one of these things, I really start to miss him (if he is at work or out with his brothers or friends).  

 

2) If Ben hadn’t consistently and fully supported me since we got married, I would have no chance of fulfilling my dreams or reaching my career goals.  For three entire years he has taken on the complete financial responsibility of supporting both himself and I.  I’ve never paid rent, electric, insurance, car payments, cell phone bills, or any other bill.  I’ve never had to even deal with it.  Since we got married I’ve either been pregnant or in school.  I DO plan on launching my full-time career by Fall of ’09 if all goes as planned, and I’m sure Ben is super excited about that, but he has NEVER rushed me or discouraged me.  Ever.  He has NEVER complained or made me feel like I am not a contributing equal in our marriage.  He has ALWAYS been willing to sacrifice for me.

 

1) Ben is a family man, and I love love love that.  He loves his family- he really looks up to his dad, and he is super proud of his brother, Daniel, for going to school for the Marines.  He absolutely loves when his other brother, Josh, wants to spend time with him, and it’s obvious he has a soft spot in his heart for his mom.  I am also tremendously thankful that he loves my family, too.  He is great friends with my brothers, he really respects and enjoys my dad, and he appreciates my mom.  He is also so excited to be a daddy.  He asks me often if I can please take Adry out of my belly so that he can play with him, and he tells me all the time that he can’t wait until the baby is here.  Ben puts family first in his life.  I love that about him- I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I Love You, Benny!

boy, baby, belly, blabbing

 Poor Benny.
He is at work sick as a dog but he can't leave because he has already used up all of his sick time.  He thinks he has the flu and he is stuck there :-(.
Of course I feel miserable because there is absolutely nothing I can do for him.  Maybe when he gets home he'll let me baby him and I'll make him soup and give him medicine.  I hope he lets me- It would actually make me feel better...  but he sometimes is grumpy when he is sick and doesn't like being babied.

On one hand I am kinda pissed he has no sick time left.  I was afraid something like this would happen when he used up all of his time way before the year was over.  And what if he is REALLY really sick and it lasts for days?  (I know that when I had the flu I couldn't move from the couch for 5 days straight.)  Then what do we do?  I tend to be the speak-before-thinking kinda girl and I feel like telling him, "I hope you learned your lesson!  Next year you need to save up your sick time for emergencies!"  Of course it wouldn't make anything better and I'd just be a naggy wife.  But, pat on the back to me, I've held my tongue!  haha!  Maybe I'll find a nice way to bring it up when he feels better :-).

Well, ANYWAY, to get my mind off of THAT- GUESS WHAT!
I am 24 weeks and 3 days pregnant!!!
And I feel like I am 15 months pregnant!
When will it be over?  Oh yes, that's right.  Another 16 friggin weeks.  ugh.
I appreciate the mothers who sympathize with my being enormous.  Over the course of my pregnancy a handful of women have said, "Oh, I was JUST like you.  I got HUGE really quick and when I was only three months pregnant everyone thought I was almost due."  It's a relief to hear that I am not alone!  No kidding, I am actually getting pretty annoyed with people asking what my due date is because I get the exact same reaction EVERY time:
"...*blank stare*... Oh? really?  You really have that far to go?"
Yes, I'm not even kidding.  I REALLY have that far to go.  Yes, the due date is correct, it's not just some wild guess, and NO I am not having twins!
The baby AND my belly are measuring just the right size for how far along I am.  As long as the measurements are good and healthy, I am happy.

ONE MORE WEEK 'til my 3D ultrasound.  yippiiiieee!  I am prepared to get a confirmation that I am indeed having a boy.  If they say it's a girl I'll be pretty surprised, but not disappointed.  It'll just be something to get used to after calling him a boy for so long.  And, I will seriously doubt my intuition from here on out if it is a girl!
I've been craving chocolate.  Surprising, because for the past few months chocolate did not sound appetizing AT ALL (outside of chocolate milk, that is), and all of the sudden I am rading my parents' pantry and settling on baking chocolate to curb a very strong craving.

I think I have decided to do the nursery in Winnie the Poo.  I know that before I said it was going to be duckies, but I changed my mind for a few reasons.  First, no one sells ducky things.  At least not enough to do a whole nursery in.  EVERYONE sells Winnie the Poo.  It'd be frickin' easy to register for- it's super popular.  At the beginning of my pregnancy I really did NOT want Winnie the Poo because it wasn't "unique" enough- everyone does Winnie the Poo, right?  I wanted something different.  Then I slowly began to realize how much extra work it is to do something unique.  You see, if I do Winnie the Poo, practically everything I would need is in one store, and I can register at that store, and probably get most of what I need as gifts.  All of the sudden, Winnie the Poo is a heck of a lot more appealing!
I've already collected several ducky things and they won't go to waste!  They're still cute, and I'm not too picky- for all I care the nursery will be a Winnie the Poo and ducky mix!  I DOUBT baby will care.  Anyways, most of the ducky stuff I have are little things like towels, robes, stuffed animals, outfits, slippers, baby bathtub, etc.

Before I sign out, I think I will share with you the things I have learned today:
1) Michelina's Fettuccine Alfredo with Chicken and Broccoli is the worst microwave meal. ever.
2) "Angel-a" is a weird movie.
3) My mother takes ownership of both her cell phone and my dad's, and she's not sure which is which, even though hers is a black flat samsung and his is a teal juke.  (I called my dad today and she answered.  Later I called HER and she asked, "did you call dad or me?" lol)
4) I am a LOT better at my job when I am not terrified someone is unhappy with my work.  I need to learn to brush off what people may think of me and just cool off and do my best.  I get too nervous around certain people.

BuhBye4Tonite, LiveJournal!





 

Christmas Decorating Day

I am pretty tired, but I felt like blogging tonight.  It's a likely possibility that I could fall asleep before posting this.  I've been falling asleep in the middle of everything all day.

Today Benji and I decorated our apartment for Christmas :-).  It was such a nice evening- I very much enjoyed it and the time I got to spend with Ben...  I took a few pictures.  Of course, our camera kinda sucks, so all of them are blurry.  sorry.  O well...

Here is our little Christmas tree:
 

...and we had some spare lights to put out on the deck


I look awful in these next couple of pictures, but I really was enjoying myself :-).  The truth is, I fell asleep in the middle of decorating, haha.  I just konked right out on the couch while Benny was putting lights on the tree.  I've been so sleepy lately.




I love Christmas time!  I can't wait until next year- baby's first Christmas.  He'll be 9 months old!

I gotta go to bed.  Goodnight.

Baby and Thanksgiving

1) Baby Update
Warning: This is kinda personal, and maybe graphic, depending on what your "gross-out" threshold is.

On Sunday I celebrated Thanksgiving with my family and a few close friends.  Let me just say, first, that it was a FANTASTIC day!  But, I bled again (fourth time), and was having a lot of watery discharge, which was the scariest thing (mucus plug could have popped= BAD).  Luckily, my best friend's mother was there and she has been a Labor and Delivery nurse for over 20 years.  I'm real thankful for that, even though there was no room for modesty!  She checked things out, explained a lot of stuff to me, and really helped a LOT.  Anyways, I went to go see Dr. King on Monday to try to get to the bottom of all this bleeding, and I endured a lot of EXTREMELY painful cervix examinations.  OOOOH MY GOSH- OUCH OUCH OUCH! (Three different examinations.  Yeah- NOT fun.)  It turns out she is pretty sure that the bleeding is not coming from my placenta at all, that it is actually coming from my cervix, which she called "friable", which kind of means "brittle"...  it's raw and bleeds easily :-(.  This is actually good news because it means the bleeding is something I don't really have to worry about anymore.  No more emergency hopital/doctor visits! yay!  Bad news= No more sex during pregnancy- BOO, haha.  Of course, I'd rather deal with that than a risky pregnancy!

This is a completely candid picture of Ben, me, and Jamie that my mother took when we were at my baby checkup.  I love it because this is pretty much how James interacts with my baby at all times.  If it were any other person it would bug the crap outta me, but she is *SO* cute- she is constantly rubbing and baby talking and feeling for kicks, and when it's her it makes me feel good because I know she's doing it 'cause she loves me :-).  She is excited to be Aunt Jamie.


2) Thanksgiving

WOW, what a GREAT day!  Hummis(sp?) and pretzels, Turkey, cranberry salad, green bean casserole, corn casserole, broccli and cheese, marshmallow sweet potatos, mashed potatos and gravy, stuffing, church potatos, devilled eggs, rolls and butter, *deep breath*, pumpkin pie, whipped cheesecake, chocolate swirl cheesecake, cherry pie, raspberry chocolate pie, and ...I really feel like I am forgetting something.
(I just really randomly felt the need to express the fact that I am the world's most horrible speller.  This is not news, it's a known fact.  Of course I don't take advantage of the spell check feature, go figure, but I probably spelled all of those foods wrong.)


Anyways- We couldn't stop laughing the whole day.  My stomache hurt from laughing before I even started eating.  My mother had us write 5 things we were thankful for on 5 strips of paper and toss them in the basket.  We each chose 5 at random from the basket to read at the table, and then we all guessed who wrote each one.  It turned out to be quite humorous and fun!  The strips were taped, stapled, and turned into a garland by Matt and Jessi.

After the meal I had another bleeding episode.  I already went into that.  Afterwards we relaxed and talked a little before eating dessert...  That's when Jamie said something that really stuck in my mind and made me think.  She just looked around, so content, and said, "I LOVE this.  I love that everyone is here and together.  I just miss my sister."  It made me realize how I often take it for granted when my family is all together, healthy,  having a good time, and loving eachother.  I'm spoiled- I get it a lot.  I also realized how much I have my mother to thank for that.  Really and truely, if it weren't for her, Thanksgiving wouldn't have been nearly what it was.  She brought 2 families together as one and hosted a really wonderful day.  And she does that ALL the time-- she can turn ANY event into a holiday or an excuse to bring people together like family.  She's always planning, decorating, cooking, inviting, and making things enjoyable.  I really, really appreciate her and I don't tell her enough.  (Other than, I DO call her "The Food Woman", but I'm not sure that gets the point across.)

Well anyways, after we ate dessert Jessie (Jamie's sister) DID get to join us finally, and we played games- "Apples to Apples" and "Catchphrase".

...I could write more but I am hungry!
Charlie Brown Christmas story is on tonight at 8.
:-)
I freakin love that!

ForeverLove