Future Jazz Lover?

Today I was listening to music on my laptop with the speakers resting right against my belly, which I do quite often because it is comfortable.  I have never thought about playing music for the baby, or the possibility that he is hearing what I am playing.  Well, today I was listening to Vince Guaraldi and I got a HUGE response from Mr. Baby in my belly.  He started sumersaulting and kicking all over the place, ESPECIALLY during the song "Christmas is Coming" from the Charlie Brown Christmas movie.

I decided to expirament a little, and played some other music.  No response.  Then I played Guaraldi again-- LOTS of kicks.  I turned off the music for a while.  No response.  I played some softer Guraldi songs and the baby started moving around a little.  Then I played "Christmas is Coming" and he went crazy with the kicking, haha :-).

Maybe he will end up being a jazz lover?  Hmmm?  I guess we'll find out one day! 

Baby and Thanksgiving

1) Baby Update
Warning: This is kinda personal, and maybe graphic, depending on what your "gross-out" threshold is.

On Sunday I celebrated Thanksgiving with my family and a few close friends.  Let me just say, first, that it was a FANTASTIC day!  But, I bled again (fourth time), and was having a lot of watery discharge, which was the scariest thing (mucus plug could have popped= BAD).  Luckily, my best friend's mother was there and she has been a Labor and Delivery nurse for over 20 years.  I'm real thankful for that, even though there was no room for modesty!  She checked things out, explained a lot of stuff to me, and really helped a LOT.  Anyways, I went to go see Dr. King on Monday to try to get to the bottom of all this bleeding, and I endured a lot of EXTREMELY painful cervix examinations.  OOOOH MY GOSH- OUCH OUCH OUCH! (Three different examinations.  Yeah- NOT fun.)  It turns out she is pretty sure that the bleeding is not coming from my placenta at all, that it is actually coming from my cervix, which she called "friable", which kind of means "brittle"...  it's raw and bleeds easily :-(.  This is actually good news because it means the bleeding is something I don't really have to worry about anymore.  No more emergency hopital/doctor visits! yay!  Bad news= No more sex during pregnancy- BOO, haha.  Of course, I'd rather deal with that than a risky pregnancy!

This is a completely candid picture of Ben, me, and Jamie that my mother took when we were at my baby checkup.  I love it because this is pretty much how James interacts with my baby at all times.  If it were any other person it would bug the crap outta me, but she is *SO* cute- she is constantly rubbing and baby talking and feeling for kicks, and when it's her it makes me feel good because I know she's doing it 'cause she loves me :-).  She is excited to be Aunt Jamie.


2) Thanksgiving

WOW, what a GREAT day!  Hummis(sp?) and pretzels, Turkey, cranberry salad, green bean casserole, corn casserole, broccli and cheese, marshmallow sweet potatos, mashed potatos and gravy, stuffing, church potatos, devilled eggs, rolls and butter, *deep breath*, pumpkin pie, whipped cheesecake, chocolate swirl cheesecake, cherry pie, raspberry chocolate pie, and ...I really feel like I am forgetting something.
(I just really randomly felt the need to express the fact that I am the world's most horrible speller.  This is not news, it's a known fact.  Of course I don't take advantage of the spell check feature, go figure, but I probably spelled all of those foods wrong.)


Anyways- We couldn't stop laughing the whole day.  My stomache hurt from laughing before I even started eating.  My mother had us write 5 things we were thankful for on 5 strips of paper and toss them in the basket.  We each chose 5 at random from the basket to read at the table, and then we all guessed who wrote each one.  It turned out to be quite humorous and fun!  The strips were taped, stapled, and turned into a garland by Matt and Jessi.

After the meal I had another bleeding episode.  I already went into that.  Afterwards we relaxed and talked a little before eating dessert...  That's when Jamie said something that really stuck in my mind and made me think.  She just looked around, so content, and said, "I LOVE this.  I love that everyone is here and together.  I just miss my sister."  It made me realize how I often take it for granted when my family is all together, healthy,  having a good time, and loving eachother.  I'm spoiled- I get it a lot.  I also realized how much I have my mother to thank for that.  Really and truely, if it weren't for her, Thanksgiving wouldn't have been nearly what it was.  She brought 2 families together as one and hosted a really wonderful day.  And she does that ALL the time-- she can turn ANY event into a holiday or an excuse to bring people together like family.  She's always planning, decorating, cooking, inviting, and making things enjoyable.  I really, really appreciate her and I don't tell her enough.  (Other than, I DO call her "The Food Woman", but I'm not sure that gets the point across.)

Well anyways, after we ate dessert Jessie (Jamie's sister) DID get to join us finally, and we played games- "Apples to Apples" and "Catchphrase".

...I could write more but I am hungry!
Charlie Brown Christmas story is on tonight at 8.
:-)
I freakin love that!

ForeverLove

Oh, Baby!

Thanksgiving with the Ellwood family was really good :).
Baby and I had an adventure today.  First, we had cheesecake, which is an adventure in itself.  And we got to take a trip to Labor and Delivery at the hospital in Dover, Ohio. 
I was bleeding (again, for the third time in 5 weeks).
I wasn't having contractions.
Baby is ok- good heart rate, healthy fetal movement.
"They" keep saying it's probably placental damage that heals itself, and to watch it carefully and come back immediately if it happens again, or if I feel any tightening in my uterus.
*????*  It's just kinda frusterating.  Every 2 weeks I am bleeding (which they tell me is not normal), I HAVE had tightening in my uterus (which they tell me is not good at this stage) and yet everytime I go to get checked everything is A-OK  and they don't know what causes the placenta damage or whatever it is.  grrr.  I'm GLAD everything is ok-  it's just that I don't want to keep making emergency trips to the hospital every several days for unexplained bleeding, just to hear that it is unexplainable!  ...ya know?
Also, I had a sinus headache ALL day (literally, since I woke up at 7:30.  It hasn't gone away), which is also frusterating because I've been taking Amoxacillon for DAYS for a freakin sinus infection.  WHY won't it go AWAY? :-(  It makes me so grumpy.

...these are very small frustrations.  And I am THANKFUL for that! :-)  I have NO big worries.  I am in need of nothing.  I want for nothing.  The baby is good.  I'll kick this sinus problem- (I'll put up a fight and knock it out, I'm not kidding.  I've lived with it for 13-15 weeks and I'll do whatever it takes to make is STOP! ugh.)  I am alive and healthy (well, generally, haha).  My family is alive and healhy.  I have a warm apartment and a cozy bed to sleep in.  As a matter of fact, I am real thankful for that right now because I am about to pass out.

Night.

Tgiving

I am so freakin excited for Thanksgiving!  OOOH I love this time of year!
Thursday: I get to go to Dover, Ohio to have Thanksgiving with the whole Ellwood family.  I see my bro-in-law, Daniel, for the first time since he left for Norwich University in Aug.  Him and the extended fam will see me prego for the first time.  (well, NOTICABLY prego.)
Sunday: Thanksgiving dinner with the Sanders' family!!!  (+ Jamie and Stephan, Deb and her doggies, and maybe Jessie)  I LOVEloveLOVE Thanksgiving with my family.  LOVE IT!  ...one of my most favoritest days of the whole entire year!  mmmmmmmm!
...I don't even like turkey.  I never eat turkey on Thanksgiving.  But I would absolutely die without my mother's creamy stuffing and marshmallow sweet potatos and whatever desert she decides to make.

This time last year I wanted a baby SO BAD.  Children make this time of year SO much more magical.  Since my youngest brother turned into more of a teenager than a kid I have really missed children being around during the holidays.  Even though baby is still in my belly, I already feel like things are more special.  I just get this major jolt of excitement when I think about sharing times like this with him when he is OUTSIDE of my belly :).  Man, I really can't wait!
...well, inside of my belly or out, baby is still in for a treat indeed, and I am ready for lotsa baby kicks!


FIVE MONTH PREGNANT BELLY PICTURES ON MY MYSPACE!!!!  :-)

for hurricanes have, the bluest eyes I've ever seen.

"I am pining for your mercy,
for this storm to break,
Lord you are my comfort,
the hope for which I wait."

LiveJournal,
Life is mostly back to "normal" since the "hurricane". 
I'm not even gunna lie- It feels SO GOOD!
Everything is much more relaxed, and altogether more happy.  My family is getting along GREAT.  ...No more sitting around and worrying.  ...Much less tension in the air.  I am much less naive, haha!-- Ignorance is bliss, but also reckless.  I made a reckless, naive decision, and I learned a ginormous lesson.  And NO, the lesson I learned was NOT that no one can be trusted.  There are many beautiful and trustworthy people out there.  The lesson I learned was to KNOW a person before I trust them (and confide in them).
Anyways, there are still some loose ends I'd really like to tie up.  I don't know when or how, but it'll happen.  SO much has happened so far.  I thought I'd have to wait and be patient FOREVER, but I MADE the decision to give it to the Lord and wait patiently, and he worked faster than I expected.  I consider it a miracle, really.  I mean, I felt like I was flat on the ground with my face in the mud and that it would be impossible to stand and see the sunlight again.  I felt absolutely betrayed and stomped on and attacked and utterly heartbroken.  Then, within a matter of days I felt such a gracious peace and comfort, and a beautiful love.  Wow!- Only God!  ...My heart still drops a little when I think about the biggest victim, but I am beginning to have more confidence in his strength.

I've started dreaming and planning for a future that would best benefit my family (baby, Ben, and I).  I have this fantastic degree that is mostly useless without a few finishing touches (called a GENERALIST ENDORSEMENT).  Before baby came into my life my plan was to finish my endorsement and my MA, then find a full time teaching position.  BUT, now I'd like to find a job in my field (preferably tutoring this summer and substituting in the fall) just until I can knock out this stinkin' endorsement, and then apply for full time teaching positions before the end of next school year.  If all goes as planned, I'll have secured a good job by fall of 2009, and then I'll start working on my MA during the summers.  I feel REALLY good about those plans :-D.  It feels good to feel good!

FRIENDS
I've also been thinking about friends, and how I am absolutely, bottom line, the most BLESSED girl in the entire, whole world.  I only have a handful of close friends, and I've never felt the need to have more.  As a matter of fact, it is actually a struggle for me to come up with the time and energy (and interest) it takes to make new friends and be close to them.  I think that's because I am SO fulfilled with who I have- I'd rather dedicate all my time to them.   There is a time and a place for new friends- I'm definitely not closed off to the idea.  I'm just not out searching for it.

My friends are beautiful.  I am proud of them.  SO proud.  I want all of the best things in the world for them, and they want the same for me.  I can run to them any time of any day, for any reason, and they don't need to say a word- I know they love me, and I love them.  They are my refuge from drama, and the world's judgement.  They REALLY KNOW me- I don't hide any part of me, I trust them so much.  *THANK YOU, GOD.  Why have you found me worthy of such a blessing?  It is so hard to come by, and I have it for LIFE.  Whatever the reason, thank you.  I'll hold your gift so close to my heart and take care of it always.  This friendship is really something worth taking good care of :-)*

I'm out for today!
ForeverLove,
Jess

PS- The famous picture of the baby grabbing the doc's hand is of a 21-week old fetus, the same age as mine is now :-).

Edgar Allen Poe's last words were, "Lord, help my poor soul".

21 weeks pregnant today.  I am in sooo much pain.  Feet, legs, back.  ouch.
I keep thinking really really silly thoughts.
Today's silly thought: "I've got to stop saying that under my breath.  The baby can hear me now."
Haha.
.....wow.


I crave Wendy's.  Oh well.  At least it's cheap.

I need to take 5 month pictures.


My parents are seeing the Blue Men Group at Nationwide tonight.  I'm jelous.  I love them!

This is why I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT THE DEATH PENALTY IS JUST:

 Damien Echols, 19 years old                                             Damien Echols, 30 years old

Damien Echols was convicted of the murders of three eight year old boys in 1994, and sentenced to death.  There has been no evidence found to directly link him to the crime, other than the testimonials of two people, who both recanted their testimonies claiming they were coerced by police investigators.  One of them, Vicki Hutchinson, said that  "the police had insinuated if she did not cooperate with them they would take away her child, and that she implicated Echols to avoid facing criminal charges, and to gain a reward for the discovery of the murders."

John Mark Byers, adoptive father of one of the eight year old victims, gave a knife to a camera man filming a documentary of the murder case.  The camera man discovered blood on the knife and turned it into the West Memphis police, who found that the blood matched both John Mark Byers' and his adopted son's blood type.

Bite marks were discovered on the victims.  Echols submitted imprints of his teeth, but a match was not made.  John Mark Byers had his teeth removed after the first trial, never offering a consistant reason for their removal.

In 2007, "a hair from Terry Hobbs, stepfather to Stevie Branch, one of the eight year old victims, was found tied into the knots used to bind the victims."   Pamela Hobbs, Stevie Branch's mother, "has come out in favor of a retrial and says she believes her ex-husband may have committed the crime."

John  Mark Byers also claims he now believes Damien Echols is innocent, and is in favor of further investigation and a retrial.




OTHER FACTS ABOUT THE DEATH PENALTY

It costs far more to execute a person than to keep him or her in prison for life.

States without the death penalty have much lower murder rates. The South accounts for 80% of US executions and has the highest regional murder rate.

One in twenty death row inmates is later found not guilty.

Newly-available DNA evidence has allowed the exoneration of more than one person per year since 1992 in the U.S., but DNA evidence is only available in a fraction of capital cases.


A CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE

It seems that it is a pretty common Christian belief that the death penalty is just.  I didn't research statistics (although I should for curiosity's sake), but I figure it's common knowledge that a vast majority of Christians consider themselves conservatives (republicans), and another vast majority of republicans are for the death penalty.

However, as a follower of Jesus Christ, I do NOT believe he advocated the death penalty.  As a matter of fact, Jesus himself was executed UNJUSTLY, was he not?

In Jesus's day, adultery was punishable by death according to the Jewish law.  When an adultress was caught IN THE ACT and brought to Jesus, he told the people that only those without sin could cast the first stone.  He actually put a stop to a lawful execution!

Jesus, in his serman on the mount, said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist one who is evil. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also; if anyone would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.” [Mt. 5:38-41]  According to biblical, historical scholars, the old testament "eye for an eye" principle was not meant to be taken literally.  It simply meant that the law was to provide equitable retaliation for an offended party, and is often interpretted to mean equivalent monetary compensation.  Scholars believe that Jesus was not critisizing the Jewish law, but he was calling his followers to seek forgiveness and love, even when they had a just claim to vengeance. 

Jesus also said, “You have heard that it was said to the men of old, ‘You shall not kill; and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment.” [Mt. 5:21-f.]




........I just found out that DNA evidence was found that could set Damien Echols in the clear, so I thought I'd throw all that out there.  I can't imagine innocently living on death row for 13 years!  wow.  My mind just can't wrap around how people can think that in our corrupt society the death penalty is just.  OH, and also- the other boy who testified against Damian Echols had such a low IQ he was considered mentally retarded.  I researched several cases in which mentally retarded people were interrogated, and they confessed to comitting crimes they were later found to be innocent of.  I watched a video of a mentally retarded man who was convicted of murdering a woman when he was 16, and died by lethal injection when he was 35.  That was 19 years of our tax dollars paying for appeal after appeal.  It would have been cheaper for us (tax paying citizens) had he just spent the rest of his life in prison.