Motherhood and Jenny McCarthy

 I am really getting a kick out of reading Jenny McCarthy's Baby Laughs.  My mom bought it for me despite her ultra conservativeness (which I'm starting to believe is just a big put-on *winks and waves at Mom who is undoubtedly reading this).  When she reads it she can't stop laughing so she HAD to get it for me :-).

Anyways, I can already relate to a lot of the stuff she talks about and it's kinda refreshing to hear a real personal account and a humorous twist to the torture that women endure when stepping into mommyhood.  Seeing as how I am not a mother yet, some of it also surprises me, and maybe scares me a little, too.  She talks about when her son pooped ALL over the place- he was covered from head to toe and it was a nightmare to clean him off... and it happened more than once  (How does that happen??  I'm NOT excited for that!  everyone always warns me, 'Oh, I hope you're ready for spit up and poopy diapers,' but those seem like a piece of cake compared to poop EVERYWHERE!)  She also talks about leaking boobs.  Ok, I KNEW I was going to have to face that, but I just thought I could get bra pads and *WAHLAH*- problem solved... but Jenny talks about how she would literally leak puddles and oftentimes pads just weren't enough.  (Embarassing, right?)

Here's a part I can already REALLY relate to:
(Jenny is talking about the first time since she gave birth that she got up the guts to look in the mirror) "I didn't know what to cry about first.  I still had two chins.  I had purple, veiny, giant tits.  Cottage cheese holes were dripping down my thighs, to the point that I couldn't see my knees, and the absolute, hands-down worste thing was the deflated tire around my waiste, a jelly roll that jiggled and slapped each side of my body when I shook back and forth.  [...] I simply stood there and stared in awe at Mother Nature's artwork.  I was so glad my husband was not home to see the piglet monster.  I just wish once in a man's lifetime he could experience what a woman has to go through to give birth.  My husband hadn't seen me completely naked in months, and you could be damn sure he wasn't gonna start then..."

HA!  Yeah.  I've learned a lot of things about motherhood already.  It's exhasting.  It's stressful.  The worries never end.  It's messy.  I'll be pooped on, thrown up on, and peed on.  I'm going to be a sleep deprived zombie for a while.  It's NOT going to be a fun joyride.  But it is simply the most beautiful, lovely, and fulfilling experience-- an opportunity to put myself to the side and pour out all my love on another humanbeing.  You know what?  I'M EXCITED!!!  I'm excited for those times when he is calm and content and I can just lay beside him, staring at him, thinking about how beautiful he is.  I'm excited to feel his little toes and for his little hands to grasp onto me.  I'm excited for him to fall asleep in my arms.  I'm excited to pick out his clothes and dress him, and for his first smile and his first laugh and his first everything!  I'm excited to watch him grow up so I can pick out his personality traits that he gets from me and his dad.  I'm ready to me a MOM!

A Little Piece of William Barclay on the Kingdom of Heaven

Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like the Merchant who was seeking goodly pearls.  When he had found a very valuable pearl he went away and sold everything he had, nad bought it.  (Matthew 13:45,46)

 "Let us remember what the Kingdom of Heaven is.  To be in the Kingdom is to accept and to do the will of God.  That is to say, to do the will of God is no grim, gray, agonizing thing; it is a lovely thing.  Beyond the discipline, beyond the sacrifice, beyond the self-denial, beyond the cross, there lies the supreme loveliness which is nowhere else.  There is only one way to bring peace to the heart, joy to the mind, beauty to the life, and that is to accept and to do the will of God.
It is suggestive to find that there are many pearls, but there is only one pearl of great price.  That is to say, there are many fine things in this world, and there are many things in which a man can find loveliness.  He can find loveliness in knowledge and in the reaches of the human mind, in art and music and literature and all the triumphs of the human spirit; he can find loveliness in serving his fellow-men, even if that service springs from humanitarian rather than from purely Christian motives; he can find loveliness in human relationships.  These are all lovely, but they are lesser lovelinesses.  The supreme beauty lies in the acceptance of the will of God.  This is not to belittle the other things; they too are pearls; but the supreme pearl is the willing obedience which makes us friends of God."
-William Barclay

Inetsplora

 I'm just playing around on LiveJournal trying to learn new things...
I realized I should probably start doing that LiveJournal Cut thing, at least for the sake of my ACTUAL LiveJournal friends (ALL THREE OF THEM) and the benefit of their Friends Page.  My appologies, LJ friends.
Also, since I suck at spelling, is there a setting I can use that automatically does spell check AS I am typing (like MS Word)?  Other people's computers seem to do this, and I'm not sure how.  I could really use it, though!

Cool

 dooood,
I just realized I could open up my comment settings so that anyone can comment.
Cool!
Speaking of "cool", one of the little guys I tutor was telling me a story (that I more than likely was only half understanding) and I said, "That's cool" and he said, "what does that mean?"
How does one explain the true essence of "cool" to a kindergartner? 

And since I'm rather smart and cunning...

 OMG, I just freakin love it when...
My cellphone rings and I answer it- "Hello...  Hello?"- just to slam it down like it's the dumbest piece of technology in the world, and then realize it was a text.  NOT a call.
And I've done this... more than once.

You know, there is really no room for pride when you are Jessica Ellwood.

The earth is shaking, there are GIANTS in the land!

 Dear LiveJournal,
I just wanted to stop by and assure you that I AM ALIVE!
I am indeed alive.  Alivex2.
And today, in the midst of being alive, I was wondering where I stand politically.
1) I don't like when people just throw around the term "independent".  I think kids try to convince others (and maybe themselves) that they are independent so that they seem all open-minded.  I don't think I am an independent.
2) Although I would never consider myself liberal either, I thought I held a lot of liberal views.  I wouldn't vote against abortion or same-sex marriage.  I'm not a huge fan of George W. or the Iraq war.  I am against the death penalty.  yadda yadda.  yadda yadda.
3) But the more I think about it, I think my REASONS for being for or against such things are very right-winged reasons.  Republicans believe in very limited Federal government power, right?  Well, the reason I would never vote for outlawing same-sex marriage or abortion is because I think those issues are personal issues of the heart and the gov. should butt out.  I also don't think our judicial system is flawless enough to decide who lives and who dies.  I believe in the freedom to homeschool or unschool or to be educated however the heck you wanna be and I think they should butt out of that, too.  I think our healthcare system has some major kinks, but I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WANT a Universal Healthcare system and the thought of one actually really freaks me out.  [My mom's friend's father just passed away from cancer in Canada, and the quality of the care he received there was very poor compared to here.  You get what you pay for, but I DO agree that there is a group of people who really fall through the cracks (make too much to get Medicaid, don't make enough to buy insurance, etc) and I think healthcare should be more accessible to them.]  Well, AnyHways, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if maybe I am just completely, totally OFF THE CHARTS right-winged.  SO radically right that I don't really trust the FedGov. to make ANY decisions for me.  I don't want them to regulate any part of my life.  Maybe this is also why I am a Southern sympathizer when it comes to the Civil War-- MORE POWER TO THE STATES, man!  And to the mom and pop stores that get crushed by corporations.  Maybe it's because I am so radically right that I haven't liked a single presidential candidate enough to vote for them since I've been old enough to vote.

Well, I better be going now.  There are very important things to do, you know.
LoveJess

Oh, and PS:  If you'd like a glimpse into the mind of T Matt Sanderz, who once said "well of corse i know ur saying 'you t-matt sanders, of corse it went well, ur like.... amazing' and i understand how it seems that way to most, there have been a few here and there that have sneered in my direction or made rude obscene gestures on my behalf. but to those people i say, get so therapy and forgive your father for touching you in ur 'no no places'", then check out his blog at  http://acgloserpunk.blogspot.com/.  That kid makes me laugh, so maybe you'll get a kick out of him :-).

precious cheeseburger

 Ok. Update.
There is nothing going on.
There is nothing to write about.
My brain is on pause with the rest of my life.

A few weeks ago I finally put away all of the Christmas decorations and stuffed the boxes back in the shed...
And I just realized the multi-colored lights are still on the porch.
DANG IT!
O well- that will just have to be their home for a few months.  I'm not dragging those boxes back out.
No way.

Yesterday my blood sugar was low all day (70s, 80s)...
I started thinking, 'Hey! Maybe I've been CURED!' haha!
Yeah.  I ate some peanutbutter bread and milk this morning and it was 142.
WTH, GOSH!  Thanks for smashing my wishful hopes, stupid pancreas!
I also recently discovered I can no longer drink lemonade, so now the liquids on my menue are milk and water.  That's it.
Apparently light lemonade has aspartame in it (some sugar alchohol), which if OFF LIMITS to pregnant folks like myself.
OOPS.
The good news is, my pregnancy craving recently has been FATTY milk-
something I can actually have!
Yes, I had to graduate from skim to 2% and I am still craving whole.
I think maybe it's because I haven't been gaining enough weight lately.
I've only gained three pounds since early November, and 0 pounds this past month. 
This is supposed to be the time I am rapidly gaining weight, right?
You think that's why my body is craving fat??
I am also craving a BIG HUGE cheeseburger!  With PICKLES and MUSTARD and ONION!
OH MY!
I may need to invest in this... VERY SOON!
I have to wait until Ben gets home, though :(
But I guess I can wait until then...

"Cuz I loves you, cheeseburger with all of my heart
And there's nuthin gunna tear us two apart
...and if the world suddenly ran out of cheese,
I would get down on my hands and knees
to see if someone accidently dropped their cheese in the dirt
and I'd wash it off for you, wipe it off for you, clean that dirty cheese off just for you!
Cuz you're my cheeseburger
and I will wait for you!"

^I can think of NO other occasion when that song would be more perfect!