Motherhood and Jenny McCarthy

 I am really getting a kick out of reading Jenny McCarthy's Baby Laughs.  My mom bought it for me despite her ultra conservativeness (which I'm starting to believe is just a big put-on *winks and waves at Mom who is undoubtedly reading this).  When she reads it she can't stop laughing so she HAD to get it for me :-).

Anyways, I can already relate to a lot of the stuff she talks about and it's kinda refreshing to hear a real personal account and a humorous twist to the torture that women endure when stepping into mommyhood.  Seeing as how I am not a mother yet, some of it also surprises me, and maybe scares me a little, too.  She talks about when her son pooped ALL over the place- he was covered from head to toe and it was a nightmare to clean him off... and it happened more than once  (How does that happen??  I'm NOT excited for that!  everyone always warns me, 'Oh, I hope you're ready for spit up and poopy diapers,' but those seem like a piece of cake compared to poop EVERYWHERE!)  She also talks about leaking boobs.  Ok, I KNEW I was going to have to face that, but I just thought I could get bra pads and *WAHLAH*- problem solved... but Jenny talks about how she would literally leak puddles and oftentimes pads just weren't enough.  (Embarassing, right?)

Here's a part I can already REALLY relate to:
(Jenny is talking about the first time since she gave birth that she got up the guts to look in the mirror) "I didn't know what to cry about first.  I still had two chins.  I had purple, veiny, giant tits.  Cottage cheese holes were dripping down my thighs, to the point that I couldn't see my knees, and the absolute, hands-down worste thing was the deflated tire around my waiste, a jelly roll that jiggled and slapped each side of my body when I shook back and forth.  [...] I simply stood there and stared in awe at Mother Nature's artwork.  I was so glad my husband was not home to see the piglet monster.  I just wish once in a man's lifetime he could experience what a woman has to go through to give birth.  My husband hadn't seen me completely naked in months, and you could be damn sure he wasn't gonna start then..."

HA!  Yeah.  I've learned a lot of things about motherhood already.  It's exhasting.  It's stressful.  The worries never end.  It's messy.  I'll be pooped on, thrown up on, and peed on.  I'm going to be a sleep deprived zombie for a while.  It's NOT going to be a fun joyride.  But it is simply the most beautiful, lovely, and fulfilling experience-- an opportunity to put myself to the side and pour out all my love on another humanbeing.  You know what?  I'M EXCITED!!!  I'm excited for those times when he is calm and content and I can just lay beside him, staring at him, thinking about how beautiful he is.  I'm excited to feel his little toes and for his little hands to grasp onto me.  I'm excited for him to fall asleep in my arms.  I'm excited to pick out his clothes and dress him, and for his first smile and his first laugh and his first everything!  I'm excited to watch him grow up so I can pick out his personality traits that he gets from me and his dad.  I'm ready to me a MOM!