The Update of the Century

My bellybutton is about to pop out.

Problematic Pancreas

I do have Gestational Diabetes.  Dang it.  Out of the 4 blood tests 2 were normal, 1 was borderline, and 1 was high.  I don't have to take insulin, I just have to go on a diabetic diet and check my blood 4 times a day.  I also have two appointments set up to meet with a nurse and doctor about Gestational DIabetes and everything I need to be doing/avoiding.  Not the worst thing in the world, but still a bummer.  When I first found out I might have it I blamed myself, but my nurse said it's really nothing I did- it's just how my body is responding to all the extra hormones from my placenta.  Normally, a pregnant woman's pancreas triples the amount of insulin it puts out to counteract the placenta hormones that block insulin, but apparently my pancreas is stubborn and doesn't like to do extra work.  Danged pancreas!  This puts me at high risk for Gestational Diabetes for the rest of my pregnancies, and also significantly increases my chances of developing Type 2 Diabetes later in life.  I pretty much was already used to the fact that I was doomed to suffer from Diabetes later in life, considering it runs heavily in my family on both sides.  *sigh*  Still kinda depressing, though.  Diabetes sucks.

Thanks SO MUCH to the ladies who've been reading my LiveJournal and messaging me/talking to me about their personal experiences (or the experiences of people they know) concerning my worries or the things I am going through.  It really does make me feel better, so I appreciate it.  I know I'm not alone, and I'll keep my chin up and try not to worry too much.  Also, thanks to those who've dropped by with warm fuzzy comments and encouragement- I like thinking about happy, hopeful things :-).

Okie Dokie Artichokie

Gestational Diabetes Screening- What an aweful test!  

8:30 am: Got my blood drawn (left arm) after fasting for about 13 hours, then had to drink a glass of sugar within 5 minutes, which sat in my empty stomache for the next 3 hours.

9:40 am: My left arm was stuck again, but the nurse couldn't get any blood.  She checked my left hand, right hand, right arm. No veins.  Nurse Brenda, "the nurse who can get blood from ANYONE", was called in and she got blood from my right hand.  Total Sticks (at this point): 3.

10:40 am: Nurse Brenda sticks my right hand. No blood.  She tries my right hand again.  No blood.  She tries my right arm and finally gets some. Total Sticks: 6

11:40 am: Nurse Brenda sticks my right arm.  No blood.  She says she has never had to stick someone so many times. (I have terrible veins.  simply terrible.)  She finally gets some blood from my left arm.  I got to take home the stress ball bull that I had to squeeze.  The nurses said I could take it home as a momento, but I think it was because by the time the whole fiasco was finished the poor guy was absolutely drenched in my hand sweat. Grand Total Sticks: 8!!

I told Adry he better appreciate everything I've had to go through (and will go through) to bring him into this world, but I'm not so sure he ever will.  Afterall, I am nearly 23 years old and I am only beginning to appreciate what my mother went through.

What is even worse than 8 needle sticks on an upset stomache is the constant WORRY I have.  Adry was a pretty active little guy for a few weeks- he was constantly kicking, and really hard!  I saw him and felt him ALL THE TIME.  For about a week he just hasn't been moving that much AT ALL.  I mean, every once in a while I feel him but it is only a tiny flutter.  I miss seeing the tummy ripples.  Yesterday I tried to drink juice and lay still to get him to move and I got nothing.  I shook him around a little bit and got a few very tiny movements.  Then these aweful thoughts started flooding into my brain: "What if something is wrong in there? What if he is in some sort of distress?  Can the cord get wrapped around his neck at this point or is that only during delivery?"  So I got online and googled "decreased fetal movement" and the SCARIEST, FREAKIEST sites popped up telling me it was a sign of impending stillbirth, etc.  Yeah, I flipped out and had a panic attack.  Today, while I was at the office for my Diabetes test, I talked to my nurse (who is actually Brenda, the super sticker.  but she really is a fantastic nurse, I like her a lot) who wasn't really concerned at all.  She said it's ok as long as I feel him at least once a day, and I don't have to start doing fetal movement counts until the 28th week.  She also checked his heartbeat and pushed him around a little to get him to move.  I did feel better after that, but I can't get that stupid google site out of my mind that told me Adry's decrease of movement is a sign he will die in a few days :-/.  That's so freakin scary and I don't know what to do to feel better about it.  I HATE WORRYING ALL THE TIME LIKE THIS!!! 

I should be getting the Diabetes test results within the next few hours.

boredom is for boring people

I've been stuck home alone all day!  :-(.  Benny took my car to work, so I have no car (which is my fault, actually, because him and I both drove seperately to Hilliard yesterday and I was so incredibly tired last night that I didn't feel like driving home, so Ben drove us both home in my car...). 
Soooo, I am bored.  bored. bored. bored.

I wish I had ink for my printer!  I have a big huge picture frame I want to fill with a collage for Adry's nursery, but alas, my printer is Out of Order.

...so, I am sitting here, chomping on Bazooka gum, waiting impatiently for Ben to get home so we can do some shopping.

I also wish I had more to write about, but my brain hasn't been doing much thinking.

blank.

OH, I got most of my gift registering finished yesterday.  I forgot about a few things so I need to go touch it up...  I registered at Target.  I was going to register at BabiesRUs as well, but I found everything I needed at Target.  Is it ok to only register at one store? 

............and I JUST spilled a full glass of water ALL over myself and my floor.  Way to go, Jessica!
geeeeez!



 

Adry Ellwood

I had my 3D Ultrasound on Saturday!  It was AMAZING!  I've never been anywhere else, but I do recommend Envision Imaging because we had a really good experience there.  In the Ultrasound room they played sappy music, perfect for making women cry (haha ;-)) and they projected the Ultrasound on a GIANT screen that covered a whole wall.  First, the technician took some 2D pics, and told me FOR SURE that I was indeed having a BOY!!  She said, "There is no doubt.  You can go home and paint your walls blue!" :-).  As soon as she switched from the 2D to the 3D and I saw my baby's face I got all choked up and teary.  I was just watching him move his little fingers and blink his eyes and all I could think was, "That's MY baby boy!"  And soon after that I thought, "My gosh, he has some chubby cheeks!"  (Side Note: I went home that evening and found some newborn pictures of me, and I probably had the biggest cheeks and the roundest face of any newborn baby EVER.)  He was very entertained by his face!  No part went untouched.  He examined his eyes, his nose, his forehead, and sucked on his fingers for a while.  I got to see him scrunch his face, kick, open his mouth, and turn around.  I loved every minute of it, as did my mother and Les who went with me.

Well, after paying a pretty penny they sent me home with a 19 minute DVD of the session, a CD with 25 "color" pictures, and about 6 or 7 black and white photos.  Mom and I went immediately to Target to make a thousand prints.
**By the way- I posted all of the "color" photos on my MySpace (myspace.com/strawberryteardrop) in the album "Adry in 3D".**





Benjamin Adryel Ellwood
(Adry)
Due March 27, 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday I started AND tried to finish all of my Christmas shopping but I was not very successful at all.  I think I only got my mom completely finished!  Jamie and I hit up Target, Best Buy, Starbucks, Tuttle mall, and we attempted some other places that were already closed :-(.  I wanted to register for gifts AND dye my hair, but by the time that was over I was really worn out.  I came home, fell asleep, and then later that night we went to go see I am Legend, which for the most part I really enjoyed.  I was entertained the whole way through, but I wasn't altogether impressed with the ending.  I still really want to see Atonement and Juno.  (Yeah, I am a nerd.  I LOVE movies.  I love everything about movies.  I could spend every night at a movie theater.  Maybe I get it from my dad?- he DID graduate from college with some sort of film production degree and he really enjoys it so I do hear a lot about it.  For instance, just the other night he told me all about why Orson Wells's Citizen Kane was such a breakthrough and influential movie, and it actually really interested me.) 

I start my tutoring job today!  I'm kind of upset that I didn't get my hair dyed so that it looked decent for today, but OH WELL, what can ya do?
I do need to go eat something and shower myself, so...
goodbye!

Gestational Diabetes?

In my last entry I talked about having a phobia of needles, so getting my blood drawn really freaks me out.  Yeah, well... speaking of that, I guess I am really going to have to face my fears next Thursday :-(

My nurse called me today and said that my glucose test from yesterday did not come back "normal".  My blood sugar should have been 135 or lower, and mine was 180.  This means I have to have a 3-4 hour Gestational Diabetes screening during which my blood will be drawn 3 or 4 times, I'm not exactly sure how many times, but I think it's drawn every hour that I'm there.

Web MD's Definition of Gestational Diabetes:
Gestational diabetes is the result of some hormonal changes that occur in all women during pregnancy. Increased levels of certain hormones made in the placenta (the organ that connects the baby by the umbilical cord to the uterus and transfers nutrients from the mother to the baby) interfere with the ability of insulin to manage glucose. This condition is called "insulin resistance." As the placenta grows larger during pregnancy, it produces more hormones and increases this insulin resistance.

Usually the mother's pancreas is able to produce more insulin (about three times the normal amount) to overcome the insulin resistance. If, however, the pancreas cannot produce enough insulin to overcome the effect of the increased hormones during pregnancy, sugar levels will rise, resulting in gestational diabetes.

Gestational Diabetes can cause BIG BABIES (go figure) and some delivery risks.  Also, baby might be born with low blood sugar and/or jaundice.
What REALLY scares me is that if I had high blood sugar during my first trimester, the baby could have some serious birth defects :-/.  How do I know that I didn't have high blood sugar during my first trimester?  I don't remember being tested.  Does Gestational Diabetes almost always develop in the second or third trimesters?  IF ANYONE KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT THIS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!  Another scary risk is stillbirth, which is very rare if the diabetes is controlled, but still scary! :-(

SO... I'm scared.  I'm freakin' scared and worried.  Like I said, I find out Thursday if I have Gestational Diabetes, so if you pray I COULD REALLY USE YOUR PRAYERS, and if you think, I wouldn't mind your thoughts and good wishes :-)---
-for my comfort
-that I DON'T have it and my tests are normal
-but MOSTLY for the baby's health, whether I have it or not...
-and lastly, for my strength to handel whatever comes my way

...thanks

an update

1) I quit my job.  
I so needed to.  I needed to forever ago.  It's not where I belonged at all.  I know what I was thinking when I accepted the job.  I was thinking, "Oh, this will be good!  I am pregnant and this little store sells loads of baby things, and I can get things real cheap!"  OK, so I accepted the job, and didn't find out what I got paid until THREE weeks later (and not for lack of asking, either), and it turns out the pay was so little that I couldn't afford to buy anything anyways.  ...So WHY, with a degree in Education, was I there?  I have no clue...  other than the fact that I am compulsive and have trouble quitting things, so that's probably why.

2) I got a new job!
The day after I quit Tots I e-mailed my resume to four tutoring centers (a total of five including the one I sent to Sylvan when I still worked at Tots) and got a response that very day from Kumon in Mill Run.  Today I went in, and was offered the job! HOORAY!  This surprised and pleased me, considering my very very pregnant condition, lol.  It was obviously PERFECT timing, though, because the owner/head instructor of the center kept saying, "We've really been praying for you." and someone else who worked there said the same thing- apparently one of the assistant instructors, whose place I'll be taking, is leaving at the end of next week and they really needed someone.  Anyways, the lady who hired me= SUPER NICE.  I felt really comfortable right away...  she's just a genuinely sweet person.  The center is only open two days a week so I won't have many hours at all, but I don't mind, A) because I am pregnant and don't want to over work myself anyways; B) the experience is worth just as much as the money, to be honest- it's actually in my field; and C) this job fits right in with my future dreams/plans/goals I've already set for myself (tutoring and substituting while I finish my Endorsement, and then getting a full time teaching position).  In other words, I finally feel like I am headed in the right direction!

3) I had a Baby Checkup Today.
I didn't find out anything new or interesting... other than my belly measures 26 inches, the baby's heart rate is in the 158-160 range as it always is, and I am convinced that I will NEVER get over my phobia of needles no matter how much exposure I have to them.  I had to have blood drawn today for the diabetes test (OH, and by the way, that orange drink made me sick. yuck.) and I FREAKED out. AGAIN.  I've had my blood drawn about 1,749 times by now- you would think I would be used to it, but no.  I panic every time.  I mean, like, really panic.  I break out in this terrified sweat, and I have no clue why.  It doesn't make any sense at all-- I can sit through an hour and a half of painful chest tattoo BY CHOICE (not that I didn't freak out for that. I did, but I still went through with it), AND several 14 guage piercings, and I still freak out from a little butterfly needle that doesn't even hurt?  ??  

Well, that's the end of my update for tonight.  I think I am going to go to bed, or try to at least.
Goodnight, LivJ!
~Jess

get over it

not feeling good.
not happy.
worried about everything.

i need to...
get over it.
move on and make the best of things!
take a deep breath.
smile.
hope.
be thankful.
neither worrying nor second guessing will make anything better.
just DO what needs to be done.

Baby, you are so worth it.

My brother posted this video on his MySpace.  I thought it was cute, so I thought I would share it, too.
-Baz Luhrmann's Sunscreen


Now's the time when I complain about pain like an old lady (but hey, what else are journals good for if not for some venting now and again?):
My back hurts SOOOOO bad!  I can't stand it!  It's not my lower back that's causing me the most trouble- it's my mid back, a little above my waist.  It's driving me crazy.  I still get sinus headaches every night, and I think I have a cavity or two.  It hurts to eat hard food or drink cold liquids on the right side of my mouth :-(.  I haven't had any teeth problems in YEARS (since I was a little kid) so I HOPE it's just a cavity, though I don't really remember what one feels like.  I need to get to a dentist.  Also, everything is a pain to do now- get up off the couch, lay down, sit up, roll over, bend down to get something, put on my shoes, etc.  I can't sit through a movie anymore without feeling cramped. I can't even sit through a church service.  My whole body is just achy.  I really need to get into some maternity yoga to see if I feel better.  I can get some yoga tapes from the library, but I have to wait until I get my address changed on my license before the library will let me get a card :-(.

Looking on the bright side:
Everything is worth it.
I hardly care that I am fat and sluggish and I have a hampster face.  I don't care that I can't paint my toenails and I haven't shaved my legs in days.  My hair looks like crap and who knows when I will ever fit back into all of my cute clothes, but I don't care.  I feel beautiful because I am going to be a MOTHER- what is more beautiful than that?  Soon I will hold MY baby in my arms and I'll be able to pour out ALL of my love and hold nothing back.  He'll rely on me for everything and for some reason that doesn't scare me in the least because I will love nothing more than to drop everything for him.  He is worth ANYTHING I will go through, and everything I will give up.
I still LOVE feeling him kick.  He's getting stronger and stronger.  I can feel his punches now, too!  Sometimes I feel so many kicks and punches at once, and on opposite sides of my belly, that I am certain he is doing things in there that are humanly impossible.  He is a stubborn little guy, though!  It seems that he only kicks for me, and he never does it when I want him to so that Ben (or anyone else) can feel him or see him.  Oh, but as soon as we are alone he is all over the place, and I can see a thousand ripples all over my abdomen.  Oh well, at least I get to enjoy it :-).  And I do enjoy it very much.  When I wake up at nights and he is moving, I stay awake just to feel him.  It's the best tangible connection I have to him right now, and so it reminds me that he's REALLY gunna be here soon!  :-)

Off subject:
I want to see the movie Juno.  I think it looks really good.  When does it come out, anyone know?

I'm going to go get myself a SHOWER.  Then maybe snuggle in bed with some cranberry juice and watch tv 'til Benny gets home.  Then who knows.

ForeverLove

boy, baby, belly, blabbing

 Poor Benny.
He is at work sick as a dog but he can't leave because he has already used up all of his sick time.  He thinks he has the flu and he is stuck there :-(.
Of course I feel miserable because there is absolutely nothing I can do for him.  Maybe when he gets home he'll let me baby him and I'll make him soup and give him medicine.  I hope he lets me- It would actually make me feel better...  but he sometimes is grumpy when he is sick and doesn't like being babied.

On one hand I am kinda pissed he has no sick time left.  I was afraid something like this would happen when he used up all of his time way before the year was over.  And what if he is REALLY really sick and it lasts for days?  (I know that when I had the flu I couldn't move from the couch for 5 days straight.)  Then what do we do?  I tend to be the speak-before-thinking kinda girl and I feel like telling him, "I hope you learned your lesson!  Next year you need to save up your sick time for emergencies!"  Of course it wouldn't make anything better and I'd just be a naggy wife.  But, pat on the back to me, I've held my tongue!  haha!  Maybe I'll find a nice way to bring it up when he feels better :-).

Well, ANYWAY, to get my mind off of THAT- GUESS WHAT!
I am 24 weeks and 3 days pregnant!!!
And I feel like I am 15 months pregnant!
When will it be over?  Oh yes, that's right.  Another 16 friggin weeks.  ugh.
I appreciate the mothers who sympathize with my being enormous.  Over the course of my pregnancy a handful of women have said, "Oh, I was JUST like you.  I got HUGE really quick and when I was only three months pregnant everyone thought I was almost due."  It's a relief to hear that I am not alone!  No kidding, I am actually getting pretty annoyed with people asking what my due date is because I get the exact same reaction EVERY time:
"...*blank stare*... Oh? really?  You really have that far to go?"
Yes, I'm not even kidding.  I REALLY have that far to go.  Yes, the due date is correct, it's not just some wild guess, and NO I am not having twins!
The baby AND my belly are measuring just the right size for how far along I am.  As long as the measurements are good and healthy, I am happy.

ONE MORE WEEK 'til my 3D ultrasound.  yippiiiieee!  I am prepared to get a confirmation that I am indeed having a boy.  If they say it's a girl I'll be pretty surprised, but not disappointed.  It'll just be something to get used to after calling him a boy for so long.  And, I will seriously doubt my intuition from here on out if it is a girl!
I've been craving chocolate.  Surprising, because for the past few months chocolate did not sound appetizing AT ALL (outside of chocolate milk, that is), and all of the sudden I am rading my parents' pantry and settling on baking chocolate to curb a very strong craving.

I think I have decided to do the nursery in Winnie the Poo.  I know that before I said it was going to be duckies, but I changed my mind for a few reasons.  First, no one sells ducky things.  At least not enough to do a whole nursery in.  EVERYONE sells Winnie the Poo.  It'd be frickin' easy to register for- it's super popular.  At the beginning of my pregnancy I really did NOT want Winnie the Poo because it wasn't "unique" enough- everyone does Winnie the Poo, right?  I wanted something different.  Then I slowly began to realize how much extra work it is to do something unique.  You see, if I do Winnie the Poo, practically everything I would need is in one store, and I can register at that store, and probably get most of what I need as gifts.  All of the sudden, Winnie the Poo is a heck of a lot more appealing!
I've already collected several ducky things and they won't go to waste!  They're still cute, and I'm not too picky- for all I care the nursery will be a Winnie the Poo and ducky mix!  I DOUBT baby will care.  Anyways, most of the ducky stuff I have are little things like towels, robes, stuffed animals, outfits, slippers, baby bathtub, etc.

Before I sign out, I think I will share with you the things I have learned today:
1) Michelina's Fettuccine Alfredo with Chicken and Broccoli is the worst microwave meal. ever.
2) "Angel-a" is a weird movie.
3) My mother takes ownership of both her cell phone and my dad's, and she's not sure which is which, even though hers is a black flat samsung and his is a teal juke.  (I called my dad today and she answered.  Later I called HER and she asked, "did you call dad or me?" lol)
4) I am a LOT better at my job when I am not terrified someone is unhappy with my work.  I need to learn to brush off what people may think of me and just cool off and do my best.  I get too nervous around certain people.

BuhBye4Tonite, LiveJournal!





 

Remembering Dave

I am still really missing this guy:

 

I will never stop missing him, I know that.  The grief is gone for the most part, but life here without Dave Jordan isn’t the same.

 

• I miss the cohesiveness Dave brought to our “group”.  Dave connected people like no one else could.  He could relate to every personality in a group of very different people, and make it possible for everyone to appreciate and enjoy each other’s company.  All at once he could crack jokes with Howard and make everyone laugh, be goofy with Tony and make it contagious, and strike up an interesting conversation with my dad and involve everyone.  Dave was THE connecting point.
• I miss what he meant to my brother.  He was a true friend who took an active, personal interest in my brother’s life when he really needed it.  People came and went, used and rejected, but Dave was always there to talk and encourage.  I am eternally grateful Matt had Dave; I just wish he still did.
• I miss Dave’s stories.  He was a great storyteller!  He often made me laugh ‘til by belly hurt.  I can think of several stories right now, and I just have to smile.  Oh, man, if only he were here to tell them again- no one else can do them justice! 
• I just miss the simple things like seeing him at church every Sunday (in the very back!) and hearing him say, “Hey, Jessica. How are you doing?”  I miss how he sat on the window ledge waiting for Les, and how he played pool with the boys.  I miss the nicknames he gave everyone!  I miss how he would always take a break from interacting with the “adults” to catch up on the lives of the “younger” people of the group.  I miss how he loved everyone so much, but it wasn’t cheesy- it was real.  Everyone felt personally and especially loved by Dave. 

 

Dear Dave,

What’s heaven like on Christmas?
I’d really like to know.
Can you ice skate on the Crystal Sea?
Can you hear sleigh bells in the snow?

Are there Christmas lights and caroling?
Do the choirs of angels really sing?
Can you help yourself when the bells all ring,
But shout Hallelujah to the King?

Do you bundle up for the cold,
And get cozy by a fire?
Or does every day feel the same-
No need for winter attire...

Are there festivities and Christmas trees,
Is there music and dancing in the streets?
Do you celebrate the day that Jesus was born
And the barrier between God and man was torn?

Or is Christmas more like a birthday bash,
With balloons and a birthday feast?
Does Jesus give people gifts
Just like he washed the disciples’ feet?

Can you look down on Les, Mer and Tay
And wish them a Merry Christmas day?
Can you listen when they begin to pray,
And assure them that you’re not far away?

If there is Christmas time in heaven
I’m sure it’s a glorious sight.
I know that nothing here could ever compare
To celebrating Christmas with Jesus Christ.

 
Merry Christmas Dave Jordan!
-Third Christmas in heaven

Christmas Decorating Day

I am pretty tired, but I felt like blogging tonight.  It's a likely possibility that I could fall asleep before posting this.  I've been falling asleep in the middle of everything all day.

Today Benji and I decorated our apartment for Christmas :-).  It was such a nice evening- I very much enjoyed it and the time I got to spend with Ben...  I took a few pictures.  Of course, our camera kinda sucks, so all of them are blurry.  sorry.  O well...

Here is our little Christmas tree:
 

...and we had some spare lights to put out on the deck


I look awful in these next couple of pictures, but I really was enjoying myself :-).  The truth is, I fell asleep in the middle of decorating, haha.  I just konked right out on the couch while Benny was putting lights on the tree.  I've been so sleepy lately.




I love Christmas time!  I can't wait until next year- baby's first Christmas.  He'll be 9 months old!

I gotta go to bed.  Goodnight.

A Short, Bulleted List of Mostly Unrelated Statements

• Right now I am eating No Bake Cookies that my neighbor made and gave to Ben and I.  mmmm.  Aren't neighbors like that the greatest?
• December 15th: 3D Ultrasound!  I am pretty excited about that!
• I can't breath anymore.  4 more months of being out of breath- I am not excited for that.
• I fall asleep randomly, anywhere, anytime.  I completely can't help it, I just get so freakin' tired.
• Nesting.  I cleaned my house from top to bottom the other day and suddenly felt like I was completely ready and prepared to welcome my baby into the world at any moment.  No crib, no changing table, no diapers, but no matter- I was ready!  ...again, I have four months left.  Geesh.  It's going to be a long 4 months.
• Off to bed.

CHRISTMAS

I wondered about something lately...
And so I did what I always do when I wonder about something: I research, ask other people's opinions, put all my gathered information together, think about it...  and I have come to my conclusion!

Christmas: Christ's mass

Why do people who do not confess to believe in Jesus Christ celebrate Christmas, what does Christmas mean to them, and does the secular commercialism and political correctness of Christmas deminish what the holiday means to Christians?

Why "Christmas" is not just "Christian":The truth is, Christmas is a big jumble of both Christian and secular traditions including Germanic Pagan Solstice festivals , The Roman celebration of the birth of Saturn, and other winter festivals.  December 25th is the tradtitional date of the birth of Jesus Christ (not his actual birthdate), and has been since about AD 221, but was not celebrated as Jesus's birthday until 354.  Though set aside as the day to remember and celebrate Christ's birth, Christmas, from the beginning, incoorperated the pagan traditions and was a public festival.

Commercialism: My brother made me sad one day when he said, "Christmas doesn't mean that much to me because it's not about Christ anymore."  I think a lot of Christians feel that way- they feel robbed.  They feel that Christmas is theirs, and it has turned into such a commercial holiday that Christ is no longer the center or the meaning... the secular world has taken their holiday and attached its own meaning to it.  However, I believe that the commercialism of the season does NOT deminish what Christmas means to me because I don't allow it to.  I, along with millions of other Christians, set aside the Christmas season to remember, reflect on, and celebrate my belief that Jesus is the good news, the fulfillment of God's word, and that through a relationship with Him I know God.  Anyways, most Christians are guilty of celebrating their Christian holiday using secular traditions (gift giving, Santa Claus, evergreen trees...) and the secular world has every right to their winter festivities without including Christ in the mix.  I think that Christmas can only be Christian when Christians set it aside and make it that way.

Political Correctness:  This does bother me to a certain extent.  I don't like it when people purposely try to take "Christ" away from MY "Christmas"- (they can take Christ away from their Christmas, but not mine).  And NO, I'm not talking about "Xmas" seeing as how in Greek (the new Testament language), "X" is the first letter of "Christ", so "Xmas" is actually a Christian abbreviation for "CHRISTmas".  But I'm not about to tip-toe around the subject of Christ, cautious about what I say, because for me, He is what Chistmas is all about.  You can tell me, "Happy Holidays", that's fine, I won't be offended if that's what it is to you- a nameless holiday...  But I'm gunna turn around and say "MERRY FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS" and I hope YOU won't be offended, either :-).

You know how I LOVE A Charlie Brown Christmas! :-)

I don't want to catch your Miseritis.

"Pardon me while I throw up.
I guess some people never grow up.
What happened to the salvation you claimed?
It breaks my heart to see how much you've changed."


I see right through you.
You think I am simple.
I've carefully evaluated every decision I've made,
and I take ownership of everything I do.
I am not the yes-man-
You are.

I am not a slave to my beliefs.
I have free will and I exercise it every day by choosing to be faithful.
You have little self-control and grapple after what you desire-
a good time and a quick fix.

The people you surround yourself with are not interested in you.
They're attracted to your illusions.
As soon as they find something that makes them "happier" you'll be an afterthought.
It's happened already- haven't you noticed the pattern?

You think you are a free spirit-
You are going to experience the world and all it has to offer you.
You think you are FREE to be yourself
and do what you want, and say what you want.
But throwing consideration and discretion to the wind is not freedom.

I AM FREE.
I am free to stand my ground and live for what I believe in.
I am free to see the value of morality-
to choose to do what is right, even if it's not what I want.
I am free to learn and change and actively define what makes me ME.
I am free to seek a beautiful purity of heart, body, and soul.

...I just couldn't help but notice that you are miserable.
You go thorugh relationship after relationship, and it's everyone else's fault.
You are stagnant-
You are not learning, growing, or experiencing anything new.
It's the same old types of people, situations, and let downs,
and you deal with it the same way everytime.

Excuse you, cover your mouth.
I don't want to catch your Miseritis.
From now on I'll love you from far away
Because I already showed you how to stay immune from the virus.