Xbox Adry

...takin' after daddy





more pics at myspace.com/strawberryteardrop

AdryLove

I'm sorry, LiveJournal. I just haven't had time for you. Something much more cute has captured my full attention and devotion. (Pictures are posted on MySpace- myspace.com/strawberryteardrop)

LONG STORY SHORT:
-induced on Wednesday March 19 at 9:30 pm
-It didn't work, so we tried another method and I got contractions IMMEDIATELY, and bad. OUCH OUCH
-Got drugged up and started acting loopy. It's weird to think one thing and say another, or feel one emotion and act another.
-Epidural. I was so drugged I didn't care what they did to me. What? risk of cardiac arrest and paralysis? I don't care, doc. Just get it over with!
-Epidural worked in some places and not in others. I still felt contractions the rest of my labor.
-Puked 3x, couldn't even keep down ice chips, was dried out and parched. Totally not fun.
-When it was time to push, my Gyno had to turn the baby around and my epidural miraculously kicked in, so I had to push completely numb. We thought it was going to last hours, but it took no time at all. The doc practically had to hold the baby in while she threw on her gloves and "prepped" me. I thought he was going to fall right out.
-She delivered him March 20th at 2:18pm, held him up to me and said something about how cute he was, then put him on my stomach and I was speechless. I couldn't believe how perfect and beautiful he was.
-He was 7 pounds 13 ounces and 21 1/2 inches long. He has enormous feet and he won't fit in to any of his infant socks, haha :-D
-Adry had a million hospital visitors- He is one loved little kid. Wow- I am so thankful. THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO CAME TO VISIT ADRY!!!!! I think I counted 33 hospital/home visitors in the first 3 days, and most of them came multiple times and stayed a long time and have been WONDERFUL at helping out and spoiling Adry!!!!!!!!!!
-My family is AWESOME and they are all madly in love with Adry. I don't know what I would do without my mother (she just went home yesterday and I miss her. I cried when she left. I'm sure Adry misses her), my dad is the sweetest grandpa in the world (I love him so much it breaks my heart and I'm sure he feels the same for me... I'm certain I saw complete adoration in his eyes when he looked at Adry for the first time), and I'm positive my brothers fell more head over heels for Adry than they expected. (And, who could resist?) Adryel is going to have the coolest uncles in the world by far. Benjamin, of course, is all smiles about being a daddy (despite the fact he's already been peed on twice) and he keeps going on about how cute Adry is. He says, "I'm not just saying that 'cause he's my kid. I'm serious- he is the cutest baby!" I love seeing him hold his son. He's a good daddy.
-I have the BEST best friend. wow. wow wow wow. She was by my side through everything- every contraction, every tummy upset episode (as she was the self designated trashcan holder), the delivery, the recovery. She (and my momma and Ben) held my hand and got me through the toughest AND BEST parts.
-And also, a SPECIAL thank you to Les and Pam who were at the hospital the entire night, from beginning to end, to support me. It's good to have an extra 2 moms around :-) I love those 2 ladies to death.

Adryel is a week old tomorrow. Time is already flying by and I don't plan on wasting a second of it.
LoveJess

ADRY BABY

Many more pictures coming soon :)

BABY TIME

I'll be induced tonight at 8pm.
Check Matt's blog for updates:
http://ACGLoserPunk.BlogSpot.com/

9 frickin months pregnant.

I wanted to show you my 9 mo. pic real quick. I have other updates, but I don't feel like sharing those at the moment. I will soon, hopefully...
Anyways- for now I leave you with only a picture. (More pics can be found on my MySpace, of course: www.myspace.com/strawberryteardrop )

I'm going to have to show you this nine month pregnant belly soon! It's gettin' out of control!
Like, if Adry grows just a LITTLE more (just a wafer thin) I am going to explode.
I am stretched to the max.
And, you know, in the midst of feeling sorry for myself I only recently considered Adry's plight. That poor fellow is probably terribly cramped and uncomfortable... especially now since there is no more room for him to hide when mommy and Aunt Jamie decide to poke around at him.

Nightmares

This is the second night in a row I've woken up from a nightmare with a racing heart and a sick feeling in my gut.
Last night's nightmare need not be mentioned because it would involve digging up an ugly past best left buried deep and long forgotten.
Tonight's nightmare was about me contracting HIV. It was a horrible feeling! And you know how nightmares are worse depending on how your brain and body respond to them? Like- you can have a bloody murderous dream and wake up feeling great, and then you can have another dream about losing your car keys and wake up in a pool of sweat with your heart pounding out of your chest... Well, I woke up from this one really feeling like I'd just had one of the most terrible nightmares ever, and now I can't forget about it. I keep thinking about all those times I've pricked my finger in public places to get my blood sugar, and the possibility that some ugly virus crept right into my bloodstream. *shiver*. I wonder if it is really that easy to get HIV...
Man, now I just wanna go get tested, haha. Stupid nightmare!!

Oh Swell

Introducing...

The Sausage Fingers
... brought to you by pregnancy swelling

Sir Vicks, the Stubborn

I think my doc is giving me an ultrasound on Monday to see how big the baby is...
She said I might just have a lot of fluid.
And also, since I am good and healthy these days (blood pressure improved etc.), I might not get to have the baby as early as I have been hoping.

Oh well.
Whatever's best.

She DID still say that she would really like me to go into labor on my own by this weekend...
...but that it wasn't a likelihood.
Mr. C. Ervicks is only 1 cm.
I tried drinking cod liver oil. I managed to swallow a tspn and then immediately lost the entire contents of my KFC-filled stomach. 5 minutes later I tried to keep down a biscuit and threw that up, too... So... that's not going to work! Does anyone know if pill form is just as effective (theoretically)?

Hubbies, Babies, and Hope

OK, so I totally feel bad now for writing a whole rant against my husband.
Crystal, I agree- we are both stressed. We are both a little anxious for what's JUST around the corner. The unknown is always a little scary and I suppose that it's not just ME that needs more patience and understanding. Ben needs it, too. When I think about things from his perspective I realize he probably feels a huge weight of responsibility that is maybe starting to freak him out- now he has a wife AND a baby to support AND take care of, and of course he has dreams of his own to go to school and start a career- when will there ever be time for that, now? I suppose it's totally understandable that the stress is making him (AND I) a little irritable. Or maybe a lot irritable :)

The truth is I have a great husband and I have no doubt in my mind he will come through for me. He always has and I have absolutely no reason to doubt him. He can turn from Mr. MegaGrumpykins to Super Comforter-Husband in a matter of seconds when he sees I really need him. ...like the day he complained on and on about having to take me to an early doc. appointment, but then when I had to get my blood drawn and I was panicking he kept things light-hearted and held my hand and was so sweet. ...or like just the other night when I was totally emotional, balling my eyes out, convinced that he hated me and he dropped everything he was doing, told me he loved me, and just held me tight against him and let me cry.

Of course today, during "Blizzard of 2008" we've been stuck inside for hours on end with each other which, although we are now completely bored and restless, is probably a good thing. He's been great to me today- making my meals and getting me everything I need so I don't have to move that much (hehe). And I didn't even talk to him about anything! :-D O, and I am EVEN thankful for the Xbox today, haha! It's been entertaining him for hours and is probably the one thing keeping his brain from turning to complete mush like mine is! (OK, no, I was wrong. His brain is mush. He just put his shirt over his head and made a very random whiny sound and then went right back to playing his game... :-))

Well, I love him. To death. Forever. And we are both so excited to meet our son. (ANY TIME, now, ADRY! Except maybe wait until the roads clear up...)

O, and those of you who AREN'T 9 months pregnant- go out and throw yourself in the snow for me! And go sledding! I want to SO bad!

Mawiage... and coping with a third addition

I am so sick of things right now.
Fatty McFatbaby has really taken a toll on my body.
Some days I can't tell if I am really sick or just really pregnant.
It sucks when I think about going through labor when I am already this miserable...
Oh, Lord.

My husband is being really unsympathetic and not at all understanding. I am pretty sick and tired of saying, "Benny, I really don't feel well" only to hear, "well, neither do I!" in response. OK, all I wanted was a little hug and a little encouragement but now I just feel like my misery is only another burden added to my husband's misery.
And why the hell is HE so miserable anyway?? I REALLY need him right now and I feel like he is being just as needy as I am. It makes me even more nervous for labor and delivery. I'm going to be looking to him for comfort and I have nightmares of him saying, "tough it out, cry-baby. I have a headache and this is grossing me out."
I don't know... I really don't know what Ben's problem is right now and I don't have the energy to try to figure it out. I try to talk to him but his fuse is so short he ends up fighting with me. I've gotten to the point where I just shut down and distance myself from him even though it's the last thing I want and I pray pray pray he'll come after me. How can I make him understand? How can I make him understand that I need him to be a little more kind, a little more patient, a little more helpful? How can I make him understand that I know he's stressed out but DUH- so am I- and I just need to be assured that I have his full support and that he will come through for me when I need him now AND after this baby is born. How can I make him understand that even though I love this baby and I am SO excited, I am not exactly sitting on cloud nine in baby heaven loving every minute of it. UGH I NEED HIM SO BAD, but he really needs me, too, and I have no idea how to be there for him. Apparently, right before baby comes into the world-( a baby who is instinctively selfish and demands the attention of everyone around him)- when mommy and daddy are supposed to drop their worlds to make sure he has everything he needs, Ben and I are both feeling under appreciated by each other, and we both want the other's attention. Hm.
I don't know how to fix that because I am completely drained. I feel helpless. I don't have the energy to be the one to step up and put us on the right track again. I wish that, just this once, Ben would be the one to do it.
I think I would feel the whole world lifted from my shoulders if he would at least be willing to spend some time with me and nicely talk to me about it (for longer than 3 minutes and without the interruptions of video games, movies, or freakin text messaging :-/ And BTW I am beginning to really resent XBox 360 and unlimited text messaging since these things seem to be far more interesting than I am these days).

Anyways, I love him so much. That's why I need him so much. I could have the support of the whole world and still feel alone if I don't have Ben.

Quick Baby Update

So, I am still healthy! No Preeclampsia. But I am SO miserable! (No seriously.)
And the baby is SO big! Had a baby appointment today and the doc shook my belly around and said, "this baby is NOT small!" and then said that if I go into labor NEXT week it'd be ideal, otherwise it looks like she will induce me on the 20th. Basically, the kid needs to come out and he needs to come out all on his own and it needs to be SOON. I'd rather go into labor naturally- I don't really wanna be induced :-/. But anyways, I guess I won't be waiting until the 27th!

To: Life

Hello, Life!
I'm trying to embrace you but I am so tired.
I am trying to eat right and stay showered and looking nice, but this takes a lot of effort.
I'm trying to stay hydrated but it hurts to get up and pour myself a glass of water.
I'm tying to be optimistic, but I am worried about something.
O, life...
I'm going to get up and try again!
I'm going to ignore the allure of my comfortable bed and try to live you a little.
And maybe I'll fold some laundry while I'm at it.
You may be moving faster than me at the moment, but I'll catch up to you!
In the meantime, cut me a little slack will ya'?

With love and appreciation,
Jessica E.